DOMESTIC: An 18-year-old woman was arrested for domestic violence and assault after punching her stepfather in the nose during an argument at the family's apartment in the 23600 block of 101st Place Southeast about 10 p.m. Thursday. The stepfather told police she's hit him before, but he usually just leaves for a walk until everyone cools down.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: In a dispute with his ex-wife, who came to his house to pick up their 13-year-old daughter, a man in his 40s threw the daughter's 2-pound puppy 15 feet onto the driveway, then struck his ex-wife with a rolled newspaper and used his hands to pin her against her car. The incident occurred between 8:19 a.m. and 8:25 a.m. Aug. 2. Police arrested the man for domestic violence assault at 2:29 p.m. at his home in the 11000 block of Northeast 100th Place.
...struck his ex-wife with a rolled newspaper

THIEF NABBED: A man stuffed numerous clothing items into a bag and ran out of the Fred Meyer store at 10201 S.E. 240th St. about 8:40 p.m. Monday. He was caught and held by store employees. He told police he had to take care of other family members. ``I'm too lazy to get a job,'' he said. He was arrested and booked for theft.
And I am too lazy to pay for your food stamps...