From Buffalo Bee

A driver from a Lancaster trucking company noticed 14 cases plus two 32-ounce jars of pickles were missing, totaling 170 jars in all. The company's shipping supervisor was reportedly evasive when questioned by police, but did state he saw "a couple of people eating pickles" when he reported for his shift.

A woman called police because she said she had a headache and was going to take several bottles of aspirin to settle her down. Upon police arrival, officers observed her shoveling Smarties candies into her mouth

Menacing was reported on Kenville Road when a woman in her 30s, dressed in all red clothing, was chasing people in the street with a fork.

A Bramblewood Lane resident reported that a turkey could not seem to find its way out of a neighbor's back yard, which is completely fenced with a swimming pool. The resident said the turkey was "crazily walking back and forth."

removed the glass panel from the rear door to a tavern in West Seneca, entered the bar and stole three bottles of vodka and 18 bottles of beer. One bottle of vodka and three bottles of Michelob Ultra were found in the parking lot. The cash register was untouched.
The guy was REALLY thirsty.

A Meadow Place resident reported that the front door had been tampered with. Police reported that it was just an old door that was falling apart.